The art of letting go of what you love and newness overwhelm

The art of letting go of what you love and newness overwhelm

It’s taken me a while to finally come to a place where I can write about the last 6 to 8 weeks, which have been full of change and challenges of every kind. Hindsight knowledge is a great teacher, but useless when you are in the middle of exactly what will prove to be futile later.

Deciding to move away from a city I love (Cork), all the friends and contacts I got to know so well over the years as well as my favourite nature spots, coffee places, etc. has been the hardest thing to do. On good days I can now think about it with joy and happy memories, on a bad day it still brings tears and heartache. The last 2 weeks in Ireland were full of high emotions; it is no mean feat to leave behind the business that has been your life and reason for getting up in the morning for close to 10 years. Harder again I found saying goodbye to my close friends and people I did business with regularly. In some cases I know it is the final goodbye and for others I know it is only a temporary until we meet again. A lot of people promised to come along to goodbye parties and for whatever reason their life got in the way, which for me was a little disappointing to learn I only meant very little to them on the other hand those that did show made my day and there were a few surprises there too. So bittersweet is the term, I guess.

My rotary club in Cork pulled out all the stops to give me a proper send-off and they helped in so many ways in getting things to storage and other practical help with moving and transport. My close friends were exceptional, each and every one took their time and I miss them the most. Just the freedom to go and meet for coffee, a drive, a dinner or just a chat it really makes the difference between feeling loved and lonely.

I don’t know if there is such a thing as an easy way of letting go of what you love and the people you love? The only way through those weeks for me was to keep looking forward, if I stood still I was in danger of making a complete u-turn or fall to pieces neither which was really much of an option. It has been a big leap into the unknown, not knowing anyone here, no local language skills nor knowledge of how anything works. I have to say the newness overwhelm had me in more twists than the letting go side even though I would safely say I am still processing that one too.

It is amazing how tensed I got when every day one or several new challenges arose. After 4 weeks I had lived in four different places and none of them near to the standard I had hoped to be able to rent, but for now moving is off my list of objectives partly because I despise it with passion and secondly I want the next move to be to somewhere I really want to be. The bureaucracy is baffling and somewhat unsettling at times, but for now I only deal with one official instance a week and that policy seems to be working. Trying to get it all sorted as soon as possible turned out to be a stressful illusion. The language I haven’t got to grips with and the fairy tale that everyone speaks good English here until you ask a question then the truth comes out.

On the positive work is great and has been a positive move, having won a rookie award after 3 weeks was a little stunning. But I guess in true form I did hit the ground running, because it probably also was the only thing I knew how to do over here so my attention has been pretty much on the job. Transport works like a dream and you can even claim a taxi back from the public transport company when they run more than 20 minutes late, which I think is rather cool (still have to figure out how, but knowing you can is a great start). In all living costs seem to be similar to Ireland. Rent and bills are lower, food the same, drinking out is mega-expensive but drinking in is do-able.

For now dealing with change will remain the order of the day for quite some time to come. And for those who have gone down this road you know there are good days and bad days and hopefully over time the bad ones will become less frequent. As for the language, I am sometimes enjoying not understanding even if the majority of the time I would rather understand. As for friends the true friends are there for me and they have been special with daily messages, phone calls, e-mails, skype etc. they in my view deserve true thanks because without them I would probably have packed up by now. Thank you and stay with me.

If someone has mastered the art of letting go of the things and people you truly love, then do fill me in on the process…I am still wondering if there is a process for it. Much as a I like a new challenge, dealing with all things new lead to a whole new experience of newness overwhelm, where when the level of new became too much I would rather not do anything. Having had a weekend back on familiar territory with friends and things I knew how to do and everyone understanding me, was an absolutel gift my inner self needed to calm down again.

Thank you to all my friends, without you the last few weeks would have been impossible.