Closure on 2011

Closure on 2011

I love new starts and new projects or doing things in a novel way. So closing off a year has always been one of those favourite things to do. With 2011 the pleasure is even higher, it may well prove to be a transformational key year in time to come, but that only time will tell. For me 2011 was riddled with disappointment, yet another move, some meltdowns, but on the plus side a renewed connection with immediate family, a great boyfriend and secure income.

If this year has tought me anything, it is that those that seemingly have your best at heart an make a public show of it, may have an alterior motive and usually it is to make them look better or take a next step up. Sometimes it is a conscious trade, sometimes it is blatant use and dispose as soon as you as their vehicle has worn out. The latter are the ones to watch out for, because they are the fair weather brigade which is all there when you are on the way up, but they go into hiding when the favour needs to be returned. Some are master manipulators which you feel you need to give the benefit of the doubt and in my case I ended up second guessing myself and their motives until time proved where their loyalty truly was.

True and genuine contacts will be there and will lend support when they can unconditionally no matter what situation you are in, they are understanding and forgiving, yet not demanding. Those I sincerely thank for being part of my life and hopefully for a long time to come.If anything the self-purposed individuals are the ones that thought me to take my time in whether they deserve my time this year.

When it comes to coming back from defeat, I honestly thought I had learned that lesson, but I guess not quite enough, maybe? Or I just drew unlucky. But what this year’s disappointments and failures gave me is a sense of putting myself first more often and use the current situation to suit me as opposed to for the greater good of others. If it is good for me, then I will consider action, if it also benefits others well then that is a two-way win and worth doing.

Before I probably did do more for others than I did for myself and maybe that is the lesson.I remember one person a few years ago telling me that maybe I needed to let go of everything in order to renew and re-enter where I love to be when tides have turned. I connected with them again not so long ago and I explained to her that the things she said really mattered and rung true and that is the path I am on now. She ended hugging me in tears as she never knew how much impact a random conversation had made. I see her as a key trusted party who will help unconditionally going forward.They also say in times adversity we get to find our true self and come across great blessings.  A few blessings are clear though: my boyfriend, my inner strength, my ability to move forward, my family, a book option and I am sure there is more but not just for publication right now.

The closing of a 2011 will be a pleasant experience and for now a bitter sweet memory with some gems.

What are you grateful to draw a line under and why?